


and miles to go before we sleep

by sakurapinks



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Dark Continent Arc, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, but its unresolved sorry, nonbinary mlm kurapika
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 06:10:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20304751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakurapinks/pseuds/sakurapinks
Summary: ‘Destiny is no more a curse than a blessing,’they recall the village elder’s chastising. They didn’t understand what it meant, at first, being so young and so desperate to see where their string that stretched far into the forest ended. But now, with Leorio at their side and a burning hole in their chest, Kurapika thinks they can understand. Their love was never quiet, never a soft warmth. It was always something formless and violent, clawing at the walls of their chest and begging for release. It was loud and hot and unbearable in its heat, and it carved out a hole in their heart in the shape of Leorio’s lips.





	and miles to go before we sleep

The red laced around Kurapika’s ring finger glows brightly against the stark darkness, stretching down the deck. It hurts to look at, brings forth a deep ache in their chest that refuses to die, makes their blood rush and limbs tingle for his touch. It hurts. The more they try to ignore it, the heavier it feels, the more it cries desperately for attention. 

_Find him, find him_ it begs with a pulsating pain. The red glow of the string mocks the blazing scarlet their family lost their lives for. They can’t forgive— can’t allow themselves to be happy just yet. 

_But what will they be after? After their family rests and their rage dissipates? Will they be human— or will they be a ghost of themself? A living phantom waiting to lie alongside their family? Does Leorio deserve that? Something so incomplete and broken? But more than that, does he deserve to be left alone for the rest of his life? Robbed of the one the heavens created for him? The other half he’ll never find again?_

Warmth tickles the back of their mind and they can feel someone attempt to hide in the shadows, but the sloppy zetsu does little to conceal the presence from Kurapika. They recognize the volatile swirl of energy— that distinct ebb and flow of pure life was ingrained into their bones. It wasn’t something they could forget, even if they tried. (If? No, _when_ they tried. Back in that airport when things were simpler. When they still allowed that faint glimmer of hope to exist. When the red still looked like a promise.)

“Care to tell me why you’re lurking back there?” Kurapika fights to keep their voice steady, knuckles going white around the freezing railing. The rough ocean that breaks loudly, angrily against the sides of the boat may as well be roaring in their chest. They push down the careless glee that bubbles forth, suppressing every desire to surge into those waiting, solid arms. 

“Want to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me?” Leorio shoots back, ice cold at the edges. But that rough baritone is enough to run a tremor through the red connecting them and coax a sharp inhale from Kurapika. They despise that Leorio’s voice alone is enough to put them in a chokehold. 

“Not particularly, no.” Careful. They can’t bring themselves to turn around, not yet, not when their irises glow red around the edges of their contacts. When their heart beats all too loudly in their ears. 

“Asshole,” Leorio snaps, stalking toward them, and every single muscle in their body tenses. He takes Kurapika by the shoulder and roughly turns them to face him. It’s the hand with the string, Kurapika notes, and immediately feels their lungs constrict. “What the hell is wrong with you!” 

Their eyes blaze a murky maroon eclipsed behind their contacts, but they can see the glow reflected on Leorio’s glasses. It’s the color of heartache, someone told them once upon a time. It makes them shrink back and avert their gaze as best they can. The action is not lost on Leorio. 

His shoulders slump, expression overcome with grief as he takes a step away from Kurapika. “The hell did I do to you, Pika,” it’s not a question, only a statement filled to the brim with resignation. It should’ve made Kurapika feel guilty in some capacity, but instead it breaks something inside of them so sharply that tears well up in their eyes before they can stop it. 

_‘Destiny is no more a curse than a blessing,’_ they recall the village elder’s chastising. They didn’t understand what it meant, at first, being so young and so desperate to see where their string that stretched far into the forest ended. But now, with Leorio at their side and a burning hole in their chest, Kurapika thinks they can understand. Their love was never quiet, never a soft warmth. It was always something formless and violent, clawing at the walls of their chest and begging for release. It was loud and hot and unbearable in its heat, and it carved out a hole in their heart in the shape of Leorio’s lips. 

“Kurapika I—“ And they decide that they can’t hear anymore than this. That if he finished, absolutely nothing would be able to hold them back. 

Kurapika’s head snaps up. “Have you heard the rumors about the Kurta? That we detect connections between those destined to live together?” 

“What the fuck are you—“

“Did you know—?” They grab Leorio by the tie and force him to eye level. They’re inches apart and they hate the burning fluttering in their chest. More than that, they hate the dawning realization in Leorio’s eyes. “—That a string connects us by the ring finger? That you’re stuck with me for the rest of your goddamn existence?” They can barely catch their breath as the bloody maroon red of their eyes burn through their pigmented contacts. 

Leorio’s expression fights to remain stony, but it softens around the edges just enough. That spark of hope was too dangerous to hold, but they feel their rage dissipate at the sight. As quickly as the burning in their chest flared to life, it was gone within the moment. Their hands begin to shake. 

Perhaps this was why Kurapika couldn’t bear to be around him— Leorio was the calm to their storm. Leorio made them forget the empty eye sockets and their headless best friend and that the world was filled to the brim with evils that deserved worse than death. He made them want the quiet life they could never have— domestic morning rituals and lazy hickies and maybe a dog. (They are so, so scared of harboring even a sliver of regret— because that regret would be weakness. And they couldn’t afford to have weakness where they planned on going.)

Leorio wraps his arms around Kurapika’s shivering form and pulls them into his chest. They hate the familiar smell of aftershave that stuck to his skin and they hate the steady heartbeat under their ear and they hate the enveloping warmth he always seemed to have. Kurapika can’t stand it. They shift closer and tangle their fingers in Leorio’s suit jacket. 

“This won’t work,” Kurapika whispers into his chest, and they hate how their voice breaks at the edges of the confession, “I’m so tired— I’m so tired of hoping.” They can feel tears against their hair, but they push on anyway, “Leorio, I’m—“

“Dying?” Leorio finishes for them, voice soft with resignation. They startle in his arms, tears welling up involuntarily. Leorio combs through their hair and slowly, deliberately, passes over their earring to rest at the bare skin on Kurapika’s neck. Instead of a blinding inferno, this time soft warmth bubbles up and makes a home under Leorio’s fingertips. They wouldn’t have been able to stop their choked sob even if they tried. 

“I can feel it on you,” He murmurs into golden hair, rubbing small circles into their skin, “Not nearby... but it’s there.” The wetness in Leorio’s voice is unmistakable. They hate being the cause of it. 

“I love you,” It tumbles from Leorio’s lips in a rush. They feel the heartache building through the string, the glow tightening and quivering. “I missed you everyday and I love you—“

There’s a million things Kurapika wants to say right there. They want Leorio to know everything, every detail of their life that he missed while they joined the mafia, how his face haunted their dreams almost as often as their family, how much they’d give up the world for him. But the chains wound tightly around their heart anchors them to the earth, to hell, to reality. They have promises to keep, and far too many miles to go before they sleep. 

Kurapika takes his face in their hands, and before Leorio can finish another thought, press their lips together in a kiss. Leorio leans into them, all desperate heat and tears against their cheek; but all they can do, a void opening up in the depths of their chest, is stare up at the pitch black sky. 

The moon stares back, empty and pitying.

**Author's Note:**

> This piece is apart of the 2019 LeoKura Zine! [Here's](https://leokurazine.tumblr.com/post/187100163026/the-lkr-zine-is-published-download-link) a link, so be sure to check it out for the other wonderful artists and writers! Also BIG thanks to my beta reader Grace (t: [leopiko](https://leopiko.tumblr.com/) / ao3: [CatcherInTheRye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/catcherintherye)) for editing, couldn't have done it without her!
> 
> [ i’m currently taking commissions! here’s a link to my tumblr if you want to check it out!](https://hxhomo.tumblr.com/post/618048965998444544/writing-commissions)


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